The Power of Positive Thinking When Dating at Backpage

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Don’t worry, this post won’t be all new agey and California-ey, although I certainly understand the confusion in light of the title I chose. It’s just that I feel like I’ve finally put two & two together after all these years. I’ve been having epiphany after epiphany after epiphany. There’s a new Cherie in town. My old way of thinking was so 2006.

Here’s what happened: You’re familiar with the 10.5 I wrote about previously, right? So after he called and basically ended it, I did some really really really really really ridiculously deep thinking afterward. (Please read the previous sentence in the Zoolander voice, it makes it a lot more fun.)

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While I was in the middle of my deep thinking, I said to myself, “Cherie Amour, you’re going to kiss someone this week.” I didn’t know who, I didn’t know where, but for some reason I made that declaration. I had that thought, focused on it for a second, and then let it out into the universe.

And what do you think happened? Kissing Spree 2017. A bonafide free for all. With not one, but two guys.

Different bars, different men, different nights. Same activity.

I’m not a “kiss a different boy every time I go out” kind of girl either. Well, maybe back in the day during my Dominican Republic phase I did have a touch of that, but let’s not get into that right now. Let’s focus backpage people.

The crazy part is that the kissing happened without me consciously trying to make it happen. I forgot that I had even made that declaration, and it didn’t dawn on me that it had come to fruition until after the fact. I was just trying to get over the 10.5 and created a thought, put it out there, and it became a reality. Ain’t that somethin?

By the way, I’m getting really tired of calling him the 10.5, especially when that number was given hastily and has since been rescinded. Let’s just call him… Ben. And let’s do that because, well because that’s his real name. I’m not a big pseudonym user, especially when they’re called “pseudonyms” and not “pseudonames”. That would make a lot more sense, and then perhaps I might consider their value. But as it stands, forget it.

Who named them that anyway? Probably somebody trying to make things more difficult for the rest of us. Thanks. Thanks a lot George W. I like to blame him for everything bad that happens in this world. I’m usually not that far off either.

Anyway, in light of Kissing Spree 2007, I’m now a big believer in the power of thought. Okay, okay. Fine. I also watched The Secret & What The Bleep Do We Know? this week. That may have something to do with my mindset as well.

My way of thinking has been permanently altered though. You’re now talking to a budding quantum physicist. Which I can pretty much say freely since no one really knows what they do anyway. I think I’m going to start telling people that’s what I am the next time they ask me what I do too. Why not. Thoughts do become things. If you can see it you can acheive it, the law of attraction is alive and well, and all that jazz is real. I’m usually a very skeptical person, but not this time. I’m drinking the Kool Aid on this one.

Backpage Dating Online

Apparently all the titles of my posts these days are mathematically derived. But what can I do about it honestly? He really is a 10.5. On a scale of one to ten. Sometimes you just have to tell it like it is and call a spade a spade. And this one is a beautiful man. A man and a half. A real stand-up guy. A 10.5.

Let me give you a little background information before diving in. Things had started out really well with this guy on the first 3-4 dates, but I had quickly become the direct recipient of brotherly pats where goodnight kisses used to be. We had gone from full-fledged backpage dates to business lunches. Plus, I hadn’t heard from him in 2 weeks.

These 2 weeks are not to be confused with the third of the month that I referred to in the previous post; this was an additional 2 week span with absolutely no contact. Nair a peep from that direction. Someone had gone dark, jumped ship, taken to the mattresses, become MIA. If one of those phrases sounds the best to you, then please use it by all means. Be my guest.

I began to think that either he was A) blowing me off and phasing me out, B) a poor communicator, C) a player, or D) all of the above, a.k.a. “a typical LA guy.” I was already psyching myself up to go back to the drawing board and was busy putting together the exit interview I would flawlessly conduct should he ever call again. I had it all planned out. “Hey, have brotherly pats replaced the old-fashioned kiss at the end of a backpage date? Is this something I should be aware of? Just curious.”

But I had it all wrong. He called and brought everything up. It turns out he’s just extremely overworked, underpaid, underappreciated and overextended. (Is that enough big words beginning with “over” or “under” for you?)

He began by saying that he’s been feeling really bad about not calling me the last couple of weeks. He said that he really does like me and is interested, but just doesn’t have the time for a meaningful backpage relationship right now. He has to handle his business. He thought at the beginning that he would have the time to pursue me properly, but it just isn’t happening and he doesn’t see the situation changing in the foreseeable future. He said that he isn’t dating anyone besides me, and that that’s not the issue at all.

He said that he would like to continue seeing me, in whatever capacity I feel most comfortable with. We can see other casually, as more than backpage friends, or at the barest minimum just as friends. He said that he didn’t know what else to do, so he figured communicating to me how he really felt would be the best thing.


Can you believe that? I mean seriously. I’ve never even heard of anything like that before. That’s the stuff that urban legends are made of. What man (or woman for that matter) actually has that much integrity and is that in touch with his or her feelings? 1 in a million, I bet. At best. And if there’s 6 million people in LA, that means there’s only 6 of them out there, 3 of which are women.  All I’m saying is that they’re a rarity.  You can’t find one on every street corner, that’s for sure.

I have to say that it was terrible in a way though, because it made me like him even ten times more than before. Here he was telling me that he’s doesn’t have the time to pursue me anymore, and here I was falling deeper with every sentence.  I hung up that phone with my heart in my hand. Not exactly the ideal situation, now is it? I couldn’t help myself though. He never ceases to amaze me. Did I mention that he’s also 6′3″, really, really cute, and a writer who has traveled all over the world? Not that that’s really relevant here, but I’ll just put it in to add to my pain and suffering.

We’ll see what happens I guess. Pray for me backpage girls; it’s not everyday that one of us actually meets one of them. A real-live member of The Cream of the Crop. This has the potential to be a rags to riches story. A star who came from nowhere and suddenly made it big story. An Anna Nicole Smith before all the tragedy type of deal.

Just as a quick aside, I saw a TV special on her a while back, and her toothless 2nd cousin who also happens to be her uncle from the trailer park she grew up in kept yelling, “I always knew she’d ‘mount ta somethin!” (It was wonderful. I repeated that line for weeks.) I may be exaggerating a bit though; there may still have been a tooth or two left in there for good measure.

But even if I come up ladies, I’ll never forget where I came from. I pinky swear. We’re all in this together. Sink or swim.

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